P.S. I can't hear my feet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
