Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
