He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
