Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
