She's JV to your varsity
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
