I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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