i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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