Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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