im drinking this country out of the recession.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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