They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
