dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
