i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
