You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
