pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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