Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize