I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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