This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
