Walk of Shame today included voting.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
