So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
