We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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