So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
