so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize