So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
