Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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