like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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