addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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