oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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