what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
