I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
