He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
