Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Who died my cat blue again?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
