I want to have your abortion
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
