i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
