That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
