peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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