when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
