Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
