I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
