Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
