That's intense
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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