cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
