i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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