I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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