it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
