I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
