you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
