I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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