her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Are my feet made of real feet?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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