she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sorry about my life...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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