Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
