i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I queefed so loud it echoed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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