i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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