you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
