the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
