My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize