yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
