Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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